from our “lifestyle correspondent” James Harper
With Easter approaching, the Martha Stewarts of this world are industriously posting menu ideas and table-setting tips. No surprises there, but the old eyebrow raised a touch at one website’s imperative, “Whether you're planning a brunch, late lunch, or early dinner, one thing's for sure: you must celebrate with cocktails that are just as festive as the food you’re making!” Now, we love a little pick-me-up as much (or more) than anyone, but an “Easter Bunny” (vodka, crème de cacao, cherry brandy and chocolate syrup) just doesn’t seem quite the thing to toast the Resurrected Christ. Nor does a Kiwi Cobbler (mint, kiwi, vanilla bean and tequila) call to mind the stone, rolled away from the door of the sepulchre.
But my wife tells me to lighten up, shake out some martinis, and stop grousing: It’s 2012, for chrissake, and there’s no fighting today's pervasive cross-marketing. Likewise, Jesus himself tells us to “resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” So why wait until Easter? Let’s all get a head start and celebrate Good Friday with the kind of custom cocktails that’ll leave you shouting, “TGIGF! TGIGF! TGIGF!”
** Corona of Thorns
This zippy refresher is similar to the “Turbo Corona Cocktail”--pour 10 oz. Corona beer into a tall glass, add 1 ½ oz. vodka, 1 oz. Triple Sec, and the juice of half a lime. Stir and garnish with a straight 6-inch stick from a rosebush, the thornier the better.
** Stigmata Sling
Mix a Rusty Nail (3 parts scotch, 1 part Drambuie), but instead of garnishing with lemon peel, garnish with four pomegranate seeds. Serve in an old-fashioned glass, on the rocks.
** Bloody Mary
Beloved of Good Friday traditionalists, this is the classic choice. Use tomato juice instead of blood. Don't be shy with the vodka. Garnish with a sponge, soaked in vinegar.
** Betrayal in the Garden
This drink is similar to the popular “Sex on the Beach” cocktail, only without any vodka. All the vulgarity, but none of the buzz: now that’s betrayal! (J. Iscariot, eat yer heart out) Combine one part peach schnapps, two parts cranberry juice and two parts orange juice in a cocktail shaker. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice....because betrayal is a drink best served cold.
**The My God my God why Hast Thou Forsaken Me-tini
Like almost all drinks that end with the suffix “-tini,” this is not actually a martini. Combine three parts triple sec, one part crème de menthe and four malt balls in a cocktail shaker. Shake as if lightning and thunder have rended the sky. Strain into a “-tini” glass and garnish with a cheese doodle.
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